And you know what? I actually thought it was pretty cool. Strike that. I thought it was legen – wait for it! – dary. (yes, HIMYM started up again, and it’s still brilliant).
I mean: it’s got Arnie, all oiled up and bulgy. It’s got Allyssa Milano as his young daughter, who he feeds deer with (I’m not kidding). It has possibly the highest body count outside of a war movie. And it’s pretty awesome. It starts with a few scenes which end with a gruesome killing, and it only gets better from there on.
There’s not really much more to say, is there? I could go into the whole homo-erotic subtext, of course, but that’s been done before. Suffice to say that it’s lean, mean, and thoroughly entertaining, with Schwarzenegger delivering his lines in a dry tone of voice that suggests he doesn’t even understand the pun he’s making. It’s the epitome of bad 80′s action movies, and in its genre, it’s pretty much perfect.
(just a note, unlike Stella in HIMYM, I’m not faking, and the b/f’s devotion to Commando is, luckily, not as extreme as Ted’s to Star Wars. Which is, incidentally, a great movie, wookies and all.)
(oh, and totally off topic, I acquired today a biography of Paul Verhoeven autographed by the man himself, including a rather lengthy dedication encouraging me about the strange combination between physics and film. A combination he knows all too well, having studied physics (and maths) himself. I wrote a more-or-less professional piece about his book presentation for filmtotaal, but here I can revel in my inner geek and just go: squee!)